Kangaroos. Some of them are quite big. Some of them live in trees. Sometimes they get hit by big trucks driving down Australian dirt roads. It is also believed that they are the brains of the Mazis. They are well known for their trickery and are also not adverse to fighting when the need for it arises. There is much evidence to suggest that they are the leaders of the Mazis. They appear on many pieces of Mazi propoganda distributed throughout Australia. They have constructed road signs warning road users about their presence in the area so that their numbers may remain high. In fact the only other marsupial who features on Mazi propoganda as much as the Kangaroo is Koala, generally believed to decieve humans into believing that Marsupials are cute, fuzzy little critters.

There is more evidence to suggest that the Kangaroos are the brains of the bunch than propoganda and guesswork. For example it is a well known fact that the only Marsupial found in the United States is the Opossum, but take a look at this disturbing picture that an innocent human on holiday took:

The humans claim they didn't see the marsupials at the time of the picture and it was only after the picture was developed that they realised that they had accidentally pictured a meeting between a Kangaroo and one of the U.S. Mazi operatives. It seems fair to assume that the Kangaroo was visiting the U.S. in order to give orders to the Opossum division. It can also be assumed that the Kangaroo pictured here is not the head of the Mazi organisation, as it would be too risky for the leader to make such a dangerous trip.

Another fact supporting the theory that the Kangaroos are Mazi leaders is that they are designed to be efficient. The reason that they bounce is because it is more efficient then to walk. Also a Kangaroo carrying a baby Joey in its pouch, which weighs up to 25% of the parent's weight, uses the same amount of energy as if it were carrying nothing. Any other animal in the world would use 25% more energy to carry something 25% as heavy as itself, but not the Kangaroo. So if a Kangaroo can carry a joey in its pouch without feeling the effects of the extra weight, what stopping it from carrying Nuclear Weapons, or Ninja Death Stars? Back to bouncing, some say that the Kangaroo's bouncing is nothing but a cute trick performed when humans are around. When humans are not there however, Kangaroos gather together and march in regiments, ready for the imminent takeover.

There is one animal, the Dingo, which really despises the Kangaroo and it is expected that if the Mazi Regime has its way then they will be the first to be executed. That is why the Dingos are doing everything in their power to stop the Kangaroos now before it is too late. They do not kill Kangaroos because they taste good. Kangaroos have a taste that was said to be "like a Dunny" by one Dingo. He went on to add "We kill boomers because the Dags are trying to take over the world and if they do, we're gonna be the ones who cark it." Despite the large amount of Aussie lingo I was able to keep track of what the Dingo was saying. He told me how one time a Kangaroo had framed a Dingo for the killing of a human baby, resulting in much anti-Dingo feeling in the human population and many Dingo killings, and he informed me that after the Dingos, we humans were next. So if you see a Kangaroo crossing the road whilst in Oz, do yourself and the rest of the world a favour and run the bastard down.

 

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